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Hurdles

With God’s help, I’ve jumped a lot of hurdles over the past couple years - yet with each new hurdle comes a greater amount of fatigue, anxiety and an overwhelming fear.

As these hurdles get more specific, they get much harder. 

I pray my energy and drive do not remain as depleted as they’ve felt over the past couple months. I want this chronic exhaustion to go away.

I can’t stop now. I need to keep moving forward in all things.

But I need peace, and a feeling of serenity as I face these things.

Every day I remember the past, try to live in the present, and do my best not to wrestle with the future - but it’s a hard game to play. Letting go without forgetting. Planning without worrying. The rules are simple, but finding the strength to keep going is what makes it hard.

I’m not going to give up - and I pray that I can get stronger as I go, rather than feel weaker with every step. I may not grow by leaps and bounds every day, sometimes it may be only a crawl - but that’s better than being stagnent or going backwards.

God, thank you for your grace. Thank you for your peace. Please continue to bless me with it, and to give me the energy, drive and passion to keep going.

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It’s been a long time.

I haven’t touched this blog in over a year - well over a year. But I may try to get back into it.

Last I posted I was struggling hardcore. Today I’m nearly 9 months sober.

Life is good

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Special business card design deal for my fellows in recovery! I offer many more services than this - visit my portfolio to see ( www.destinationgraphic.carbonmade.com ). But check out this deal on promotional items, and feel free to share around to your friends in recovery! Thanks all! *Clean & Serene*

Special business card design deal for my fellows in recovery! I offer many more services than this - visit my portfolio to see ( www.destinationgraphic.carbonmade.com ). But check out this deal on promotional items, and feel free to share around to your friends in recovery! Thanks all! *Clean & Serene*

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Attention Undergrads! 
Looking for a job soon? Stay ahead of the competition with this offer from Destination Graphic! $50 business card and letterhead design! Professional, unique and fast! Share and Reblog this picture and get the word out!

Attention Undergrads! 

Looking for a job soon? Stay ahead of the competition with this offer from Destination Graphic! $50 business card and letterhead design! Professional, unique and fast! Share and Reblog this picture and get the word out!

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Attention Theatre Artists!
Check out this great deal from Destination Graphic! This is a steal for a personal and unique business card and letterhead design, special for theatre artists in particular!
Check it out!
And check out the online site at www.destinationgraphic.carbonmade.com or www.facebook.com/destinationgraphic !

Attention Theatre Artists!

Check out this great deal from Destination Graphic! This is a steal for a personal and unique business card and letterhead design, special for theatre artists in particular!

Check it out!

And check out the online site at www.destinationgraphic.carbonmade.com or www.facebook.com/destinationgraphic !

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Figured I’d jump on the band wagon….but this time, not so funny.

Figured I’d jump on the band wagon….but this time, not so funny.

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Five Iron is back.

Five Iron is back.

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Today I surrender…

Oh boy, it’s been a wild ride so far.

It’s been forever since I posted anything, and I’m so happy to start blogging about recovery again today.

This morning I think I have finally found the meaning of surrender. Admitting complete defeat. Complete defeat! Something so unnatural for us to do. But it is necessary.

In admitting complete defeat, we win this battle. The war is never over, but we have the power to win each daily battle by beginning the day admitting defeat. So long as I do this, I will keep the enemy, my addiction and the demons that surround it, at bay.

My addiction wants a fight, as do the demons that exploit every worst part of addiction, and in not providing one…in surrendering, I win, with God’s help. I win.

Don’t fight it. Don’t give into a losing battle. Surrender. Win.

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"When I use my past becomes my future."
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My logo for my freelance graphic design company. Yes yes.

My logo for my freelance graphic design company. Yes yes.

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This ain’t treatment food. Booya. Perks of the outside. Sidenote: I had a Coke with it, despite the full bar. :-)

This ain’t treatment food. Booya. Perks of the outside. Sidenote: I had a Coke with it, despite the full bar. :-)

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Don’t feed the monster. One is too many, and a thousand never enough.

Don’t feed the monster. One is too many, and a thousand never enough.

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Also my 30 day NA tag!

Also my 30 day NA tag!

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Outta treatment, back on the horse. 30 days.

Outta treatment, back on the horse. 30 days.